addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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