what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
