I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
