i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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