our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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