Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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