i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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