Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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