dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I showed him my bush... on skype.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
