I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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