They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
