how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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