Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
