Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
