i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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