Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
