There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
