I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
