Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
