I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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