I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
