i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i need some magic done to my vagina
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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