I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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