The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
