After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
