Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
