I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
