At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
