I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Did you just see the Batmobile???
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
