I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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