"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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