And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
