Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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