It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize