Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
