I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize