I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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