Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
