I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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