we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
