We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
