I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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