I wanna passion pit in your ass
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
