my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize