Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
