hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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