pop tarts are not kleenex
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
