Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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