Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize