his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
