My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My bed smells like the plague
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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