he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
porn star boner night. come get it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
