Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
