You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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