woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I would ride that face into the sunset
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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