yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
