I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
