Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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