but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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