i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
