In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
