Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
