you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
