One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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